DE Talk | From Public Service to Corporate America: Lived Experiences of an LGBTQ Employee in the Workplace

Season 3 • Episode 7

Courageous conversations begin when you’re willing to share vulnerabilities, stand in those insecurities, and become relatable to those around you. For the internationally awarded public speaker, author, first responder, and LGBTQIA+ activist Samantha Smith, that began when she recited her powerful speech, Last Call. Tune in to this episode as Samantha shares her experience first as a police officer in the field and then as an out employee in corporate America. From guidance on supporting LGBTQ employees to the power a simple EEO statement offers, Samantha shares how being an ally is not a choice but a must for workplace diversity and inclusion.

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About DE Talk

For DirectEmployers, it’s all about valuable connections and meaningful conversations. This monthly podcast features honest and open dialogue between powerhouse industry experts on a variety of HR topics ranging from OFCCP compliance advice to emerging recruitment marketing trends, diversity and inclusion initiatives, and insightful solutions that help infuse new life into your HR strategies.

Hosted by Candee Chambers, Executive Director of DirectEmployers Association.

Episode Guest

Episode Transcript

Candee Chambers:
The following episode contains discussions on topics such as suicide and LGBTQ discrimination that may be considered disturbing or upsetting to some audiences. Listener discretion is advised.

Welcome to the DE Talk podcast. Tune in for between HR experts to amp up your HR strategies. Don’t worry, we’ll mix in a few laughs, as we know you need it.

Words have power and magic happens when those powerful words are woven into superior storytelling, featuring relatable lived experiences. Samantha Smith is an internationally awarded public speaker, author, first responder, and LGBTQIA+ activist, who has such a story that motivates and inspires those around her. So much so that when she entered into the 2021 Toastmasters International World Championship of Public Speaking, she placed in the top 28 of 40,000-plus speakers for her impactful courageous speech, Last Call.

We first became aware of Samantha’s story when she was featured in a Texas LGBT Chamber of Commerce newsletter. And after we connected, we knew we had to share her journey, an inspiring message with others. Let’s dive in and get started. Sam, welcome to the DE Talk podcast. We are so happy to have you join us today.

Samantha Smith:
Oh goodness. With that intro, I feel like I certainly have a lot to live up to, but I’m excited to be here with you all. I appreciate the opportunity to get to chat a little bit with you, so yeah, I’m ready to go.

Candee Chambers:
Well, and we’re excited because in this podcast you will also find the Last Call video that we are adding to this podcast. So people listen to them as well, so that’s awesome. So, I think people need to pay attention.

Samantha Smith:
That’s amazing.

Candee Chambers:
Yep. We’re pretty excited about that, too. Sam, why don’t you share a little bit about your backstory. It’s my understanding that you were a former police officer on the east coast and then in Texas. And, first and foremost, thank you for everything you’ve done and the sacrifices you’ve made. Second, why don’t you share a little bit about your experience as an LGBT police officer?

Samantha Smith:
Yeah, absolutely. So first of all, truly my pleasure to have had the opportunity to serve. You’re spot on, I started my career in law enforcement in Northern Virginia, right outside of Washington, DC for a pretty larger department. And I’ll say there, I wasn’t actually out when I started, I was still married to a man. I was married to the gentleman that I went to high school with and had a child with. There were people within higher ranks, captains, lieutenants, and so on and so forth that were out. And, I can remember thinking as my life was kind of changing, I did come out while I was still at that department towards the end of my time there, that it felt good to know that there was a safe space for folks like me in leadership positions. Definitely made a huge difference for me.

And then, when I transitioned and moved down to Texas where I currently reside, that was a little bit different. I served for about two years in Texas before an injury took me out of law enforcement, ultimately. But, definitely a different world here in Texas in being somebody who looks like me, somebody who’s not shy to say I’m married to another woman, happily. It was a different atmosphere. There certainly wasn’t any out people at my specific department, at least. I worked for a smaller department. So that was a little bit different, certainly a little bit different here in Texas. But, yeah, it was a great experience, nonetheless, either way, it was an honor to be able to serve in both departments.

Candee Chambers:
Well, you are certainly right. Location plays a big deal in whether or not you’re accepted in various environments.

Samantha Smith:
Absolutely.

Candee Chambers:
I’m a strong proponent of bringing your whole self to work. And, as we were talking before, diversity is applicable to all types of people. My favorite saying is, it takes all types to fill a freeway. It’s kind of my favorite little saying, but I think we all need to stop being judgemental. And so, it’s good to hear you speak positively about your experience, but let me ask you, have you ever experienced any discrimination at any point during your career?

Samantha Smith:
Yeah. Wow. So, when I was actually down in Texas… It’s funny, whenever anybody asks these questions, I always have to take a deep breath because every time I speak to it, it brings forth emotions, right? Everything is tied to emotions. And so, I did have an experience, unfortunately, at the department in Texas where I was working the midnight shift. It was about two o’clock in the morning and I was just driving around and I saw this person in the middle of the road, just kind of doing circles. It kind of caught me off guard. So, I radioed in, hey, here’s my location, I’m going to mark out with this individual and just check on them because they’re, again, in the middle of the road at two o’clock in the morning. And, I’ll give you the… Yeah, it was a little odd, right? That’s a clue in law enforcement, as we would call it.

So, I didn’t want to make too much of it, but, hey, let me check out and find out what’s going on. So to give you the short winded story of what went on for a little bit, I marked out and ended up talking to the individual. And, I had asked for backup before I really asserted what the heck was going on with him. We have a screen that tells us where our fellow officers are and I could see where the other officers were and it ended up another local jurisdiction marked out with me. And, I didn’t think anything of it at that time because sometimes if they’re nearby, they hear it, they’ll just stop by and check in with you.

So after we got done dealing with this individual, it ended up being okay. He hadn’t taken his medication. And so, we got that taken care of with his family member and everything was all good to go. And, when I got back in my car, I realized that my other officers were in the exact same spot they were when I called out asking for backup.

Candee Chambers:
Hmm.

Samantha Smith:
Yeah, exactly. Those were my thoughts. And so, I remember having that moment of well, did something happen? I almost started making excuses for them like, oh, they must have not heard me or they must have been doing something else. And, so often we make excuses for others instead of holding them accountable. And, I realized when I went back into a roll call that next morning as we were finishing up our shift, there was some political stuff on the news and I overheard conversations that made it very clear why my backup didn’t come for me that day. And, I ultimately ended up switching shifts.

I’m grateful to say nothing major happened as a result of that. But, in those moments, it really hits home of when we’re wearing the same badge and the same uniform, it should not matter what color my skin is, what I look like, who I love, what happens behind closed doors, because at the end of the day, when we’re going in, we’re going in together, right? And, we have to be able to rely on each other and I couldn’t do that with them. And so, yeah, that was one specific instance that I was very directed towards them just not backing me simply because they didn’t agree with my choice in who I love, lifestyle, as they call it. Absolutely.

Candee Chambers:
And, it’s kind of like, you take an oath, I think, to serve and protect and doctors take an oath to do no harm, and gosh, it’s one of those things that’s really doing their job. It doesn’t matter what your personal preferences are.

Samantha Smith:
Yeah. In the perfect world, those oaths would ring true and people would abide by them regardless of their preconceived feelings or opinions. Unfortunately, you and I both know that’s not the truth. And, it goes across, whether it’s law enforcement, first responders, doctors, lawyers, judges, anybody who takes an oath of some sort, we know that they’re not always able to uphold that oath due to their own, again, filters that they bring forth to the day in day life, which is sad and it’s unfortunate.

Candee Chambers:

Yeah. It really is. Well, let me ask you, walk me through an experience. I’m sure you’ve probably experienced this when you are getting up in the morning, getting ready for work, did you ever have that dreadful feeling that, oh gosh, I have to go into work and I don’t like not being accepted?

Samantha Smith:
Wow. Yeah. I can’t say in overall, because I do try to live in a positive light. I try to wake up on the right side of the bed, as they call it, as cliche as it is. I do try to set myself off with success in mind to start and let the day bring that down. Try to start 100% and hopefully we end somewhere in the 80s. But, truth of the matter is, there’s certainly those moments, right? I’ll say that there were several times where I would go to calls and have to go inside someone’s home. And, I could feel the judgment, right? You could just feel the energy room, you could feel that tension. And, you kind of think to yourself, I’m putting myself on the line for this, right? I’m risking my life for this. I’m leaving my family. I’m literally kissing them goodbye and praying and hoping that I come home at the end of shift for this?

And, it’s sometimes a hard pill to swallow, right? It really is. But, I think at the end of the day, for me, at least, personally, that ability to, what I call… I always use the analogy of cracking the door, right? So the ability to maybe crack the door a little bit for somebody to see just something that says, hmm, that was interesting, maybe I should think about this differently, or maybe I should look at this differently, or maybe I shouldn’t be so judgemental because this person came and helped me in this moment. And although, I don’t agree necessarily with who they love or what they look like or how they identify or any of the other classifications that are out there, they’re still here and they’re helping me and we don’t have to necessarily be on the same page for that to be okay.

And so, that was always the way I looked at it. Even those negative moments, I really tried to pull it positive. So I’ll say, I think every day I woke up with the intention of hopefully, even if I had that negativity in my mind of trying to turn that around and say, maybe I can make a little bit of a positive impact on somebody today. And, that was how I kept myself from becoming a cold and cynical person, I’ll say that much. So, it worked.

Candee Chambers:
Well, isn’t it amazing how a positive attitude can affect so many other parts of your life?

Samantha Smith:
Oh, goodness. Yeah.

Candee Chambers:
Yeah. And, it’s too bad more people don’t keep a positive outlook on things. It really does make a difference. And, we kind of call that when you say, just like cracking the door, we call it kind of the camel’s nose under the tent. Kind of get a feel for what’s going on. So after your law enforcement career ended, you decided to transition into corporate America.

Samantha Smith:
Yeah.

Candee Chambers:
And then, you got involved in a local Toastmasters chapter. And, what I had told you, I did that way back when, when I was young and actually in my first job out of college, and boy did I learn a lot? So there’s a lot to unpack there. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about your transition into corporate America? Actually, one of the things that we really focus on here is culture and trying to help our member companies, when they’re trying to hire individuals. How do you showcase your culture? So when you were searching for jobs, were you focused on finding an employer that was LGBTQ friendly or did you focus on the job and it didn’t matter what company it was? How did you decide?

Samantha Smith:

Yeah. So let me unpack a little bit of that. So certainly transitioning from law enforcement to what we would call a civilian job was scary. That was a really dark point in my life because the injury forced me out of what I thought I would do for the rest of my life. And so, it really was a trying time of me understanding my purpose and how do I continue to serve. And yeah, there was a lot that I had to kind of unpack within that transition. But, in that, specifically to what you asked, it’s funny that you asked that because I remember having a conversation with my wife and saying, “I really want to find somewhere that I’m comfortable.” Especially being in Texas. I’m not originally from Texas, I’m originally from Brooklyn, New York and so very different worlds.

And, while I respect location has a lot to do with it, I’m also cognizant that I have some control over it. And so, when I started the transition into the corporate world, I said, this is important, I want to make sure that I find somewhere that I can be accepted. I don’t want to be walking in and them calling me sir on my first day. And, I’ve dealt with that so many times. And so, I was just the normal job searching websites, and I’ll never forget, I was looking at some jobs and the job I ended up taking, I scrolled to the bottom and you know where it’ll always say, we do not discriminate against…

Candee Chambers:
The EEO tagline.

Samantha Smith:
There you go. There you go. I’m sure you’re familiar with it.

Candee Chambers:
Oh, yeah.

Samantha Smith:
This one literally said sexual orientation or gender identity. And then, it had a little LGBT tag there. And I was like, what? And, I can literally see the moment that I was sitting at my desk and I turned to my wife and I was like, hey, look at this is crazy. I didn’t even know they do this. Looking back on it, it’s kind of sad that I got excited about it because it should be the norm, but it’s not. And so, as lighthearted as it is, it also is kind of like, man, it is 2022 and we’re still dealing with this. We shouldn’t be, but we are.

And so, yeah, 100% when I saw that, I was, that’s where I want to work, because at least I know that they have that in mind. If they’re willing to stand up and say, hey, I’m a company that’s going to put an LGBT symbol on it, or a gender identity wording or whatever specific that it was that made me feel comfortable. That to me, at least felt, that doesn’t mean every person who works there is going to be accepting, but at least I know the business has my back. That absolutely drove me to apply there and ultimately accept the position. So 100%, that played a big part.

Candee Chambers:
You know what, the OFCCP, the Office of Federal Contract Compliance Programs, the Department of Labor, they would love to hear that because now the gender identity and sexual orientation language is a requirement in what we call the paragraph style tagline, but companies don’t have to put that on their site or on their jobs. They really just, if they service or have qualifying contracts to cover both the VEVRAA regulations and the section 503 for individuals with disabilities, they can literally just put EOE veteran/disability and they’ve got it covered. So EOE is not very specific and you would not necessarily incorporate the thoughts about gender identity, sexual orientation, GINA, any other protected class into that acronym. That’s an actual perfect example of why the paragraph style is so incredibly important. So I’ll have to show-

Samantha Smith:
Oh, 100%. I literally was excited and then was like, okay, I’m going to apply. And, when I was offered the position, I felt confident going in.

Candee Chambers:
Yep.

Samantha Smith:
Before I even met one person, that I had some level of support as a marginalized group going in, in a location that I know is not as open to who I am and who I love. A 100%, it made a huge difference

Candee Chambers:
That’s really good news. And, I will definitely share that. That really goes a long way. So you mentioned when you actually spoke to our team about being involved in an LGBTQ employee resource group, and we have a lot of employers, we’ve actually had presentations on ERGs and employers that are constantly looking about how to grow those ERGs. Can you talk a little bit about your experience and your perspective and your thoughts on ERGs in general?

Samantha Smith:
Absolutely. So I have to say that I never knew about ERGs before I joined corporate America after law enforcement. Prior to that, I had been in sales type positions, not necessarily like corporate America. I’m using air quotes here, you can’t see them. But, never really in that regard. And so, when I joined the company and during orientation stuff, they started talking about, hey, we have these ERGs. And, I’m like, what? That sounds like a military term. What are we talking about?

And so, after I got schooled on what it was, there was all these different groups. And so, I ended up joining the Women’s Network. And, there was the young professionals. There was a ton. I can’t even remember all of them. But, the one that I became a big part of was Out, it was Out ERG. And, the cool thing was, it didn’t mean you had to be a part of the LGBT+ community, it just meant you were an ally of there’s. And, that went for any of them, right? You didn’t have to be a woman to be in the Woman’s Network. You didn’t have to be young in the young professionals-

Candee Chambers:
Yeah.

Samantha Smith:
100%, yeah. And so, that was the cool thing, which again, I had no knowledge of, I didn’t understand that, but it spoke to the concept that we don’t want to further segregate. The point is, is to bring everybody together. And so, we’re not saying that you have to meet a classification to be a part of, we’re saying, hey, we’re going to bring forth programs and educational opportunities and fun stuff to do to help shed light on this group or this topic that we’re going to bring.

So I got involved with Out and became a part of the board, I guess they would call it. So I was helping to organize events, bring speakers in, facilitate meetings, things of that nature. And, it was awesome. If I could go back a second to when I saw that on the application and it propelled me to apply, then when I found out that there was an ERG for LGBT, it further constituted those feelings, it further validated those feelings. I like that, validated. It confirmed for me that they stand by it. They didn’t just stick that on there for hopes of, well, let’s get these people to come apply. No, they actually truly support the ability to be who you are to show up in your authentic self every day to work.

And that, for me, kind of brought it full circle, right? When I saw that, I said, wow, they’re not just saying, hey, we will not discriminate against you to come apply here, but we’re actually going to shed light on this. Most people are trying to turn the light off and here they are putting the spotlight on. And so, it was an amazing opportunity to be a part of the ERG. I think that it’s something that every job corporation should facilitate. The feeling of welcoming and being a part of, and having that resource, I can’t put a dollar sign or a value to it because it truly just goes beyond anything monetary or anything that would facilitate that. To me, it was a driving factor in staying there, in joining more of the ERGs and wanting to be a part of, for sure. Absolutely.

Candee Chambers:
So, basically, I can probably narrow it down to determining that your advice to employers that don’t currently have ERGs is to get them.

Samantha Smith:
Oh, heck yes. Yes. Figure it out, get some going. 100%.

Candee Chambers:
I have to tell you, I worked for Cardinal Health and I’m going to call them out because this is a positive message about them. I could sit there and think, and I don’t know what company you’re even talking about, but just on what you’ve said, it could be Cardinal Health because they had the same type of ERGs, Disability Advocates Network. It’s called something different now. You could be a part of that particular group or just be an ally, just like you said.

Samantha Smith:
Yep.

Candee Chambers:
And, I was part of that one. I’m a Type 1 diabetic so I was part of that one. I was part of the veterans, I was part of the LGBTQ one. And, it was interestingly enough during pride month and I know just kind of like Black History Month, why do you just celebrate it that month? I get that.

Samantha Smith:
Sure.

Candee Chambers:
But, the important thing was that the company would literally excuse everybody from work, 2000 or 3000 people, go and stand out at the flag pole and they would raise the pride flag on the first day of June and the CEO and all the senior leaders would be there. They would give speeches and they would have members of the pride ERG speak. And, there’s a labor dollar cost to them. And, we would all be standing there and talk about events coming up or whatever. And, I tell member companies all the time, think about having… Well, and we would invite news media just to showcase what we were doing.

Samantha Smith:
Sure.

Candee Chambers:
And I said, and you can count that as outreach in an odd sort of way, because picture yourself, okay, so Samantha, you’re at home that evening and you’re going to be looking for a job and you turn the news on just like everybody else at the end of a day and you see Cardinal Health raising the pride flag and their CEO, for goodness sake, talking about how every individual is important. It doesn’t matter what their personal life is. You’re a part of Cardinal Health.

Samantha Smith:
I could tell you, my application would be in before I went to bed.

Candee Chambers:
Exactly.

Samantha Smith:
100%.

Candee Chambers:
That would obviously be exactly what you were looking for. And, it’s very similar to your experience because you would feel that you were going to be a valued addition to their employee workforce.

Samantha Smith:
Without a doubt. It goes so far. I’m sure we’ll get to it, but my tagline is, being vulnerable equals being courage just equals being heard, right? Having your story heard. And so, when companies are willing to be vulnerable… Because there’s a vulnerability of that because you have to think, there’s people who are in opposition of whether it’s LGBT, or whatever, right, fill in the blank with all the marginalized communities. But, there’s opposition to that. And so, when they’re willing to be vulnerable to say, hey, we stand with in support of, that, to me, speaks so much further than, like I said, slapping a little tag on or putting a little sticker up or something like that.

So yeah, I’d be applying and not only would I be applying, but I’d be messaging all my friends and telling them, hey, if you’re looking for a job, this is where you need to go.

Candee Chambers:
Exactly.

Samantha Smith:
Absolutely.

Candee Chambers:
Exactly. And, I still have lots of friends there in the LGBTQ community and those who are not, and they all still love it. So, it doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter.

Samantha Smith:
Yeah. 100%. Even if you don’t identify as somebody who’s a part of the community to know that the company is willing to stand with a marginalized group, then helps facilitate that, well, if you identify in any type of marginalized group that you’re going to feel that support. So it goes across the board. It’s not just specific.

Candee Chambers:
And, the company wins. In the long run, the company wins.

Samantha Smith:
Of course.

Candee Chambers:
It’s very smart for that company to take that approach. So I use them as an example all the time. So I’m very proud to have come from there as a matter of fact. So, let’s get into Toastmaster. I know what it’s like. Certainly not at your level. But, you have said, and you jokingly have said that doors open for you, whether you’re ready for them or not. And, this sounds like a real true experience for you. So have you always been interested in public speaking? Have you always been good at it?

Samantha Smith:
Yeah, so I actually started my public speaking career if you want to call it, in high school.

Candee Chambers:
At 12. Okay.

Samantha Smith:
Yeah. It’s like when the 12 year old is doing something amazing and somebody asks them, when did you start? They’re like, when I was 1. Yeah.

Candee Chambers:
Exactly.

Samantha Smith:
So, I have an older brother, it’s just the two of us. He’s about six years older than me. And, he competed in public speaking in high school. And, I remember hearing him practice his speeches and going and seeing his competitions on Saturdays. And, that really lit this fire for me, where I was like, oh, ah, that’s cool, I want to do that. Plus, my brother was always a big role model of mine. So, it was the cool thing to do. If your brother’s doing it, do it.

Candee Chambers:
Is he pretty proud of you?

Samantha Smith:
When I got into high school? Yeah. Oh gosh. We could talk for hours on all of that.

Candee Chambers:
We will eventually.

Samantha Smith:
But, yes, no doubt. So, when I got into high school, I joined what was called speech or debate team or forensics.

Candee Chambers:
Yep.

Samantha Smith:
And, I got involved with duo interpretation, which was essentially, as it sounds duo, right? It’s two people. You’re essentially just giving an act as I would call it. It really was like going to a show. And so, you weren’t writing your own speech. You were rehearsing and giving a speech that was already written by somebody else out of a book, a play. There was so many different places you could find. But yeah, that’s how I started was actually in high school. And then, I competed in high school at state and all of that. And, I absolutely loved it. It was an amazing opportunity. I just enjoyed it so much. So much so that when I went to college, I actually went back and would volunteer as an assistant coach to my high school team.

Candee Chambers:
Oh wow.

Samantha Smith:
And so, I paired up with my old coach who coached me and would come in and actually assist. So, super cool to kind of be on the other end of it and get to help the kids coming through. And, I say kids, I was only a few years older than, but the students coming through and that really was-

Candee Chambers:
They look so much younger, a few years older.

Samantha Smith:
Yeah. When you graduate, one day later and you’re like, oh, I’m an adult now, you’re a kid. Yeah, that language changed so fast.

Candee Chambers:
Exactly.

Samantha Smith:
But yeah, it was awesome. Awesome experience to be able to go back and coach them.

Candee Chambers:
So then it was obviously an easy transition to Toastmasters, right? So did the same company offer Toastmasters and you thought, okay, well, I got to do it? Is that what happened?

Samantha Smith:

Well, funny story. I never knew of Toastmasters. I didn’t even know Toastmasters existed. I had no idea what it was. And so, I was working at the company and a colleague of mine was like, hey, you should come check this out. There’s free lunch. And if anybody knows me, you had me at free lunch. You could have said anything else, but free lunch was it, I was in it. Beeline for that room. And so, unbeknownst to me, it was kind of where-

Candee Chambers:
You weren’t going to pay for that.

Samantha Smith:
Oh yeah. I was going. Yeah, there was no stopping me. And so, I show up in the room and they did kind of like a mock up of a normal meeting, just in a shortened version. And, somebody gave a little table topics and a little bit of this, a little bit of that. And I was like, where has this been all my life? How did I not know this existed? Because, I love public speaking. I call myself a public speaking nerd. And so, I, of course, signed up immediately. And, it’s really interesting because I’d love to say that was 10 years ago, that was 2018. I only joined Toastmasters in 2018.

Candee Chambers:
Oh my gosh.

Samantha Smith:
And, I signed up in Toastmasters… Not to go off into this whole big thing, but there’s pathways and you turn the pathway and within the pathway you give these different speeches. So I gave my icebreaker speech, which is just to, as it sounds right, help you kind of break the ice and get comfortable. And, I gave my first prepared speech after that. And, it was the Last Call, except it wasn’t in its cleaned up version that I competed with, but it was a version of the Last Call.

And, after I gave the speech, that same friend, a colleague of mine who introduced me to Toastmasters, came up to me, she was crying after the speech. And, she said to me, “You have to, you have to compete with this speech.” And, I looked at her like she was crazy because I said, while I feel comfortable in this environment, within the corporate Toastmasters club, that is the corporation that accepts all of these things that we talked about, there’s no way that I’m bringing this forth because I’m going to face discrimination and I’m going to face those issues that I don’t want to deal with.

And she said, “No, you have to.” And, I kind of put it to the side and said, yeah, yeah, yeah and went on, right? And, I gave a few more speeches and fast forward, I ended up leaving that job and took on another position. And, when I did, I had to find a new Toastmaster’s club, because you could only be a part of that if you were a part of the job, the corporation.

Candee Chambers:
Right. Yes.

Samantha Smith:
Correct. So I joined a local club that was not attached to a company.

Candee Chambers:
Okay.

Samantha Smith:
And, I gave this speech again, I gave the Last Call and the same situation happened. They were like, you got to give this speech. So fast forward to last year, at the start of the competition, I had just joined them. I had taken a break from Toastmasters while I was figuring things out and I had just joined and they said, hey, we have our competition, do you want to give a speech? And I was like, “Okay, yeah.” Because they were like, you know that speech you gave, you should try that. I’m, “Okay.”

Candee Chambers:
Wow.

Samantha Smith:
And, I did. And, that propelled where I am today, truly just from that moment of that friend saying, hey, you need to give this speech in competition. So yeah. So my Toastmasters journey really hasn’t been that long, truly. 2018. Yeah, absolutely.

Jordan Hester:
We’re now going to play Samantha’s Toastmaster speech, the Last Call, for you. Listening discretion is advised as this speech contains discussion on topics such as suicide and LGBTQ discrimination that may be considered disturbing or upsetting to some audiences. If you do not wish to hear this segment of the episode, please feel free to fast forward seven minutes.

Last Call by Samantha Smith (watch on YouTube)

The following is a true story and I share it with you all because I refuse for this story to be silenced. “Unit 2365, please respond to a check on the welfare. Caller advised they have not heard from their boyfriend in some time and they received some concerning messages.” Unit 2365, “I’m en route.” It was just another day on the job. But you see today was going to be different. Just two short weeks prior, I was sitting in the chief’s office signing my resignation letter. I had fallen in love. There were just two small hurdles to overcome. One, I had to move halfway across the country to be with the person I fell in love with. And two, the person I fell in love with was another woman.You see, this meant to had to come out to my family and tell them something I had known about myself for quite some time. Now I’m grateful to say, after the shock factor were off, my family was very accepting. Unfortunately, for my then girlfriend, now wife, she faced a very different scenario. Her father, upon hearing the news that she was with me, another woman sent her a text message that would shatter her world and enrage me. That text message read, “If we were back in Russia, I would chop you up and feed you to the pigs.”

Unit 2365, “I’m on scene.” My partner and I arrived to a three story complex and we were immediately met by the caller who was a bit frantic, explaining they hadn’t heard from their boyfriend in some time. A neighbor stepped out who actually knew the caller. So they went ahead to sit with them while we went forward to investigate. As we arrived at the door, we looked around, but we couldn’t really see anything. We knocked loudly, but there was no answer. Based on the situation, we were given permission to go ahead and make entry.

I positioned myself in front of the door. As I drew my service weapon and I dropped my shoulder, busting in yelling, police, police! I was immediately looking in a living room. While my partner advanced forward, I turned once behind him. And once again, as I was staring down the hallway, I heard the sound, click. Now in law enforcement, that’s a good sound. It means my partner holstered his weapon. There was no longer a threat. So I went ahead and holstered my own. I was about to exit out of the apartment when I heard him say, “Hey, come in here.”

I took a few steps forward and I found myself in the doorway of the master bedroom. Now it was dark, but there was just enough light peeking through the blinds when I saw the body. A young man was laying in the bed. He had a bag over his head with duct tape around the bag and a tube slithered underneath the duct tape. That tube was connected to a tank on the ground. That young man was deceased by suicide. “2365, go ahead and enroll medics at my location, we have an apparent suicide.” Had been a cop for about four years at this time. And I’m grateful to say, had never actually found someone deceased on a suicide call.

But, this was a crime scene. So as I began to exit out, I found myself back in that living room and a piece of paper caught my eye. I went over to the coffee table and I began to read what appeared to be a suicide note. See, this young man described how life in general was just stressful. Everything from work and friends and family. And then, it hit me. You see, that caller, that frantic caller, who was so concerned about their boyfriend was a man. And, this young man went on to write that he ultimately took his life for being rejected because he’s gay.

Could have easily been my wife writing that letter, simply for living authentically and loving me. You know, my wife and I, we’ve faced many moments of discrimination over the years. Everything from verbal arguments and awkward stares to even the need for a protective order for the safety of ourselves and our children. And, it is 2021 and we have come a long way since the Stonewall Rights in 1969, but we have a long way to go. You know, we share three beautiful children together. Our 11 year old son, he described to me one day as I stood there at the bus stop proudly that he got into a verbal argument with another student. You see, this student told him that couldn’t be me and his mother standing there. No, no, that must have been his father, maybe his brother and uncle or a friend, or simply just any other man, all because I have short hair.

Our 17-year old son, he should never be concerned about going to high school and facing a bully just because he’s proud to be a young gay teenager. No person should ever face judgment or ridicule for who they love or how they identify. So I stand here. I stand here in vulnerability and I stand here and courage and I implore you all to push past the hate, let go of the judgment and simply just love one another because someone’s life depends on it. You see, that young man, that young man who laid in that bed with that bag of his head and the tape around his neck, his life depended on it. My own wife, my own wife, whose father sent her a text message and said, he’d rather see her chopped and fed to the pigs, her life depends on it. And, it could be anyone. Your own mother, father, brother, sister, friend, colleague or even your own child whose life depends on it. “Unit 2365, I’ll be 107 for the last time.”

Candee Chambers:
You obviously included your very personal story about you have mental health issues in there, your experience as an officer, the LGBTQ community issues. And, it was very heart wrenching. Heart wrenching, I can speak. And, it was one of those things that I just sat there, kind of with my mouth open. I’ve watched it a few times. You just sit there and you think, wow, how, number one, you kind of look at… Obviously, I didn’t know you personally at the time. You sit there and watch it and you think, wow, she’s pretty strong. But, you look pretty petite. And then, think about the difficulties that you had to face and the comments to your wife by her father, talk about heart wrenching. That’s what just kind of grates on your stomach. I think when it’s a personal story, it’s probably easier, but it’s also a lot more difficult because it’s a personal story. So, anyway.

Samantha Smith:
I’ll say, when I got to the point of giving that speech, when I started in the competition with it, I actually didn’t get through the entire speech. I can recall when I started practicing it and I really started fine tuning it and made it what you know it to be today, I would only get to certain points and then I would break. I would have to take an emotional kind of pause. And really, it took quite a few times of just rehearsing to get to the point where I could inflict the emotion that was coming through. I wanted people to go on the journey with me, to be present with me in those moments. To be vulnerable with me and feel it. But, I had to do it in a way where I could still control my emotion.

Because I promise you, I would just bust out crying. It was so intertwined. And, what most people don’t know, the part of this is that the Last Call, the call that I went on was truly my last call at that department before I moved. I had just come out to my family two weeks before. And, thankfully, my family was very accepting. But after the call, somebody has to stay on scene, it’s a crime scene, until everything is wrapped up without giving too much away. But, I had to sit there and I can remember texting my then girlfriend, now wife, and saying like, I don’t know how to process this. I don’t know how to deal with what I just read, what I just saw, what I just witnessed, because we’re going through it in this moment.

And so, it hit on so many emotions, into so many levels. I’ll tell you that, looking back on the last year, going through the competition and everything that I experienced, I wouldn’t change it for the world. As you said, I made it to the semi-final round, which was the top 28 speakers, but we always knew there was a possibility that I would hit that wall where they couldn’t hear my story anymore.

Candee Chambers:
Yeah.

Samantha Smith:
And, when we got to the semi-final rounds, that’s where the judges could be from anywhere in the world. And, you and I are both very much aware that there’s countries that it’s still okay to be killed for being gay. It’s okay to be stoned in the street. So, here I am speaking as an out lesbian about LGBT, looking like I look with short hair and wearing a suit and who knows where the judges were from. And so, not to go off too far, but I’ll share with you that the day after I gave, I got all this outpouring of support from people all over the world, truly. People were messaging me. It was insane. It really just-

Candee Chambers:
That’s what I was going to ask. Yeah, what type of support?

Samantha Smith:
Oh, goodness. It was absolutely, it was just an outpouring of support. And then, it was also a support in the way of you got robbed. You should have advanced.

Candee Chambers:
Oh, yeah.

Samantha Smith:
And, what had happened after that is, I actually took a look at the judges code of conduct for Toastmaster’s organization. And, I found on there that they have the information, judges cannot be biased against age, sex, race, but of course the two things missing-

Candee Chambers:
Oh, gender identity and sexual orientation.

Samantha Smith:
There was no gender identity or sexual orientation. It was not there.

Candee Chambers:
There you go.

Samantha Smith:
And so, I realized, oh, we have a problem. And so, I actually wrote Toastmasters headquarters. I wrote them an email and explained everything and documented all of this and sent it to them. And, they corresponded back with me that they were going to take a look at it. And, they just had their meeting in November of last year. And, I just found out about a month ago that they adopted the language and have now changed it. So forever more, gender identity and sexual orientation is included in the judges code of conduct for not being able to be biased again. So again, those are words, right. We know that doesn’t necessarily protect us, but at least it’s a step in the right direction. So yeah, that language has been adopted on the international level.

Candee Chambers:
Well, you know what, that’s very, very good because the way I look at it is that if they would judge against a person that was in a gender identity or a sexual orientation that they disagreed with, then they darn well better have a legally defensible reason for not selecting you. It’s just kind of this thing with hiring. Okay, so you don’t hire this lesbian because you don’t like lesbians, but what about her experience or her education? It’s like, you’ve got to have a legally defensible reason, so good for you. That’s awesome. And, for those of you who don’t realize, and I know we talked, you were the top 28, but over 40,000 entries. And so, this is like the super bowl of public speaking. Honestly, Samantha, it is just incredible. Absolutely incredible. Especially-

Samantha Smith:
I still pinch myself a little bit.

Candee Chambers:
Well, I have to tell you, you are a spectacular speaker. You really are. But boy, I’ll tell you what, Toastmasters is tough. It is tough now.

Samantha Smith:
Oh, absolutely.

Candee Chambers:
I belonged for a couple of years. So I did move forward, but boy, when I heard you were 28th, I was like, wow. So, anyway. But listen, I can tell just from speaking to you today, that you’re a very passionate person and you seem to put your heart in everything you do. It seems like you’ve had some really tough times. I sit there and I think about Last Call and some of the experiences that you’ve had are just almost too much for a lot of people. And, I think watching the young man who ended up committing suicide, I sit there and I generalize, I know it’s inappropriate, but you generalize to how many people that happens to because of that situation.

Candee Chambers:
And so, that’s a real difficult position for you to be in, to have to watch that happen, especially when you’re going through some of that yourself and watching what’s happening to your friends and people that are important to you. But, it seems like you’re a real catalyst for change. And, you do have a strong voice. The fact that you were able to write to Toastmasters, that’s pretty incredible. So you’ve talked about public speaking and it gives you the ability to make an impact all over and to a lot of people. And, you’re in Texas now, but people all over the country are going to hear this podcast. And, I know you’ve done other podcasts as well. So how do you continue to be such a positive change in your community?

Samantha Smith:
Hmm. So, yeah, I think that, for me, when I went through the competition last year, it made me realize that being a former police officer, I’m also now a volunteer firefighter in my community. And, we can impact in those positions only so much, right, only the community we serve, but when I speak and when I can tell the stories, I have the ability to impact anybody who can listen, right? And, this goes now on an international level, right? Hundreds of thousands of people have heard the Last Call because of the stage that Toastmasters provided in the World Championship of Public Speaking. And so, when I look at how I continue and where I am today, I’ve actually just released about a month ago, my first book.

Candee Chambers:
Wow.

Samantha Smith:
Yeah. I co-authored a book with a former Sergeant of mine. The book is called Killing Law Enforcement From Within the Ranks and it’s available on Kindle and Amazon and all that. It actually just went best selling. And so, it’s a short book. It’s an opportunity to give folks an insight to within law enforcement, how we’re not supporting each other. And obviously, I speak to some of the stories you’ve heard and that I’ve shared with you today and some others as well. And, I’m in the works of writing my own book, my own personal story, to continue to be able to tell the story and to be able to continue to be that catalyst, as you said. I think that it’s not always my story, right, I’m just the beacon for it, right?

Candee Chambers:
Mouthpiece, yeah.

Samantha Smith:
That’s it, right? My wife and what she’s gone through, I feel honored to have the ability to share some of that because it’s an opportunity for others to relate, which is unfortunate, but that’s the truth. And also, the ability for others to realize that it’s okay. And so, I’ll give you a brief example. I was keynoting a leadership conference last week, virtually, in Canada.

Candee Chambers:
Wow.

Samantha Smith:
And, I always do a question and answer session. I think it’s a great opportunity to have interaction and to really allow folks to share. And, I had an individual who came onto the platform to speak and they shared that for the first time publicly, they identified as a trans woman.

Candee Chambers:
Wow.

Samantha Smith:
I stood there in those moments and I was like, this is what it’s about. This is the opportunity that I can provide for somebody to feel safe, to be themselves. They’re authentic self, their true self. And, the topic I spoke on was leaving your legacy and how do we be vulnerable so we could be courageous and all of these things. And, when that individual shared that… And, it’s not always good, right? During question answer, I actually had somebody this past week who came onto and started quoting Bible versus, and telling me that Adam and Eve and all this. And, I tell them just like I would tell anybody that you’re safe to share what you feel, that’s on your heart. And, if that’s what you feel to share, then I receive it. And, I thank you for sharing and we move on, right?

I’m not against any of that. But, in those moments, when then I have the opportunity to share, and I can hear from the folks, that’s really when I realize how impactful being willing to be vulnerable and share my story and the stories that I’ve experienced and others, comes through. So, writing the book and continuing to share those stories is huge. I actually have recently been awarded representation by the college agency. It’s one of the college agencies in the US that book talent for the colleges. So I now get to go speak to universities on this and speak to our youth and do keynotes and opportunities to speak with these college aged students in regards to diversity and equality and all of these things.

And so, really that’s how I continue to spread. And, that’s when I say that doors open, even when you’re not ready, because I promise you that when I gave this speech the first time, last year in the competition, I would not have been able to articulate in any way, shape or form that I’d be sitting here today. That I’d be doing podcasts and being requested as a keynote speaker and talking to college students. And-

Candee Chambers:
You just thought it was a speech you were giving for a competition.

Samantha Smith:
It’s just wild.

Candee Chambers:
Yeah, exactly.

Samantha Smith:
I thought I was telling my story and hoping that I might impact somebody and unbeknownst to me, I’ve had the opportunity to impact across the world. And, it’s truly humbling. It really is.

Candee Chambers:
Well, you know what, don’t sell yourself short. You have a wonderful story, but it’s a heart wrenching story, but it’s one that people need to hear. And, I think it’s stories like that people really listen to. And, even if they aren’t willing to admit that they really listen, they do. I think there’s some introspection as a result and they think, wow.

Samantha Smith:
Oh yeah. I’ve had lots of that feedback.

Candee Chambers:
Yeah. I bet. I bet. So, you know right now, and I know you see it all the time, employers are constantly… I did diversity training over 20 years and we did four hours of in-person training to 22,000 employees and an additional four hours of diversity training for all management employees. So a lot of diversity training, and then it kind of died down. And then, all of a sudden, it’s the flavor of the month. And unfortunately, the tragedies of the last few years have brought that need forward again. And, employers are constantly pushing for diversity and inclusion and belonging and better hiring practices. And, they’re trying to figure out how to best support their LGBTQ employees. Some that are openly out and some that are not.

Candee Chambers:
What type of advice could you give? I know we talked about your employer and my prior employer, and it’s kind of what I tell them is, showcase your culture, if it’s a good one. But, what other type of advice could you give to employers?

Samantha Smith:
Yeah. Not to go back to that same wording, but be willing to be vulnerable.

Candee Chambers:
Yeah.

Samantha Smith:
This is what I tell everybody, whether you’re an employer, an employee, we have to be willing to a stand in our vulnerability so that people can relate to us.

Candee Chambers:
I was just going to say that, yeah.

Samantha Smith:
That. And then, it changes everything. Every time I would give this speech, I was being vulnerable, right? I was putting a target on my back and I continue to do so. But, when you’re willing to be vulnerable and especially when an employer is willing to stand up and say, you know what, I don’t care that I’m in the middle of Texas and I don’t care that I’m in a small town that people write racial slurs or slurs against LGBT folks or whatever it might be, I’m going to stand up and I’m going to make sure the voice is heard and say, we support, we encourage, we love fill in the blank there, but that we want you as you are. We don’t want you to hide who you are.

So, I really think that it’s through those ERGs, it’s through making sure that paragraph is there that we talked about earlier. It’s getting out into the community, it’s being seen in the events. You talked about pride. My former employer would actually purchase a float for the pride parade. Yeah. And, would have shirts made and all of these things. And so, I’m sure some employers go, okay, but there’s a lot, right? There’s a lot of parades or different marginalized communities to meet, and my challenge to any employee that said that to me would be, and you should be meeting them all without any questions asked. That should be your priority.

Because, if you want to be able to have a diversified group of employees that really come from all walks of life, all backgrounds, which, to me, would be the ultimate goal, right, because then you’re bringing that worldly experience that everybody brings forth is what makes a group, right? That’s what makes your company. And so, when you’re willing to step out, when you’re willing to be vulnerable and to be seen as walking in the parade or out there on the TV station, talking about whatever it might be, that’s truly where I think that employers need to focus their time on. So that would be my advice is, be willing to be vulnerable, to stand up for those groups.

Candee Chambers:
That’s good advice. So now when I get the question in the future, I’m just going to say, listen to this podcast.

Samantha Smith:
You can have me on speed dial. I’ll get on the phone, give them a pep talk.

Candee Chambers:
Sounds good. So we’re getting close to the end. One thing that I’ve noticed in just reading about you, talking to you, service in your community is just kind of ingrained in you, whether it’s as a former police officer, an activist, a volunteer firefighter, dear God, and I just said, and you’re so petite. God help you. And, as a wife, as a mom, you kind of put your heart and soul into everything that you do. So, what are you working on now that you’re passionate about? What’s on your-

Samantha Smith:
Yeah so I’ve recently taken over recruiting for my fire department, which is awesome. I get the opportunity to go out and speak to the community and recruit other individuals to start their journey of being a first responder, which is super rewarding. It’s an opportunity to really get to speak out and tell others about what they can gain from being able to serve others. So that’s been an awesome opportunity. I’ve been working really hard on my book. That’s taking up a lot of my time, certainly on the back end and getting the opportunity to put those stories down on paper. And hopefully, the goal is to get that done by this year.

Like I said, the other book I wrote is a short co-author opportunity that I had. So, my book’s a little bit more in-depth and certainly develops more. So, that’s been taking a lot of my focus. And, really just the opportunity to continue to outreach is really where I’m at. So opportunities like what we’re doing right now, getting on your guys’ podcast, I’ve been on a local TV station, recently, keynoting opportunities, going out, talking to the university, kids, all of these things, to me, I don’t care if the audience is 10 people or 10,000, because every single time I get to share the story, I get at least a few people that reach out to me and say, this changed something for them.

I actually had an individual after my keynote, write me and say that prior to hearing my keynote, they thought that being an ally was a choice. And, they said, after hearing my speech, they realized being an ally is not a choice, it is something that is a must. Here’s somebody doesn’t identify as being a part of the community and thought, well, yeah, I could be an ally, I couldn’t. And after hearing the Last Call and hearing my speech around that, that is it, there was no choice anymore. And to me, those moments, it’s in those moments that I realize, this is why I have to keep telling the story. And then, that’s where my focus is, is to continue to keep and telling and being able to share with anybody who will listen.

Candee Chambers:
Well, I said this to you before, this is an open invitation for you to come to our annual meeting next year. And, I’m also thinking, well, we’ll have to stay in touch and hear where you are with your book. And, we’ll bring those books and let our employers or our members, I should say, get some of those books. So I am so excited to have you at our annual meeting next year. And, it will be that much better with you on the agenda.

Samantha Smith:
I appreciate that.

Candee Chambers:
I’m very excited. So, we will talk definitely about this very soon and give you dates and all that stuff.

Samantha Smith:
Absolutely.

Candee Chambers:
I was going to ask you for parting advice, but I think you’re going to say something about vulnerability and I wholeheartedly agree. So I think that’s great advice for our members to hear and for our listeners to hear because everybody hears this, not just our members. But now, I’m going to end with some fun. Not that this… I really enjoyed this. But, this is for people to learn a little bit more. So we end our podcast kind of on a fun note and we do five rapid fire questions to kind of get to know you on a personal level.

Samantha Smith:
Oh, all right. Put me on the spot.

Candee Chambers:
All right. So all you have to do is say the first thing that comes to mind. So are you ready?

Samantha Smith:
All right. Let’s do it.

Candee Chambers:
Okay. Early riser or night owl?

Samantha Smith:
Oh, early riser. 100%.

Candee Chambers:
Okay. So am I. All right? What is your favorite quote?

Samantha Smith:
Ooh, so I don’t know if that’s actually a quote, I’ll say it’s like a saying that I go by, which is… the saying goes, worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

Candee Chambers:
Ooh, I like that. I’m going to have to go write that down.

Samantha Smith:
Yeah.

Candee Chambers:
I like that. That’s pretty good. Okay. All right. Coffee or tea?

Samantha Smith:
Oh, tea. And, my wife, Olga, is jumping for joy, hearing that because I’d never liked tea before her and now I can’t not drink tea. I drink it all day every day. So yeah, tea, 100%.

Candee Chambers:
Oh, wow. So you said her name is Olga.

Samantha Smith:
Olga. Yes.

Candee Chambers:
Oh, I love that. I love that. Like the Olympian from way back when.

Samantha Smith:
Yes.

Candee Chambers:
Was she a gymnast? I think Olga was a gymnast or an ice skater. I’m not sure which-

Samantha Smith:
I don’t remember, to be honest.

Candee Chambers:
Yeah, you were younger then. You weren’t born then. All right. So I guess I just aged myself pretty well on that one. Okay. So name one item from your bucket list.

Samantha Smith:
Ooh. I’d have to say travel more.

Candee Chambers:
Yeah.

Samantha Smith:
And, not travel like international. I really want to see the US on a deeper level and get to really visit all the states. My true bucket list, if I could have a speaking opportunity in every state, that would be awesome. So I’ll just throw it out there, if anybody’s in some state that I haven’t visited yet, which there’s a lot of them, that would be a part of the bucket list, for sure. That would be pretty cool.

Candee Chambers:
Because, I, before the pandemic used to travel a lot and there’s only, I don’t know about, 7 or 8 states I have not been in, but what I would love to do is get an RV and literally drive cross country and not be on any schedule, but just if I saw a sign, hey, stop in this colonial style town or stop in historic village, I would love to just say, let’s go stop there. Let’s go check that out. Let’s go see Mount Rushmore. Let’s go see Yellowstone. That’s on my bucket list. Not that anybody cares.

Samantha Smith:
I’m with you.

Candee Chambers:
Maybe we do a girls trip and we’ll bring Olga, too.

Samantha Smith:
There you go. Oh, she would love it. She would love it.

Candee Chambers:
Let’s talk. No. Okay. So I think I can probably answer this for you too, but who or what inspires you?

Samantha Smith:
Ooh. Yeah. So I would say who would be my family and, first and foremost, Olga and the things that she’s had to deal with that have truly just propelled me to speak about it. My kiddos and being a positive role model for them. And, my parents, my brother, alluded to that earlier. I’d say the what is for the people whose voices are shut down and they’re unable to speak. That motivates me. That is a driving factor in that there are so many folks who are in a position that’s just not safe for them to be vulnerable and share their stories. And so, being able to share a story that relates to them, because unfortunately there just are so many out there, is what really keeps me going and keeps pushing me forward with it.

Candee Chambers:
I had part of that, but that is very understandable and a lot of what I expected. So, that’s terrific. So honestly, Samantha, I can’t tell you, this has been so much fun. I could talk to you for hours. Really, it’s been a pleasure talking with you and hearing yours story and getting some guidance on how employers can support their LGBTQ employees. If our listeners would like to connect with you and this happens a lot, what’s the best way to get in touch?

Samantha Smith:
Absolutely. So I would tell folks to visit my website, which is www.samanthasmithofficial.com. And, on the website is all my contact information. All of my social media plugs are attached directly to my website. So, I’m on Instagram, I’m on Facebook, I’m on Twitter. So all of that will directly link them to my website. Also, if anybody reach out one-on-one to me, they can feel free to email me. And, the email is speak@samanthasmithofficial.com. And, I welcome everybody to reach out. I love to hear from folks, whether it’s just, hey, really enjoyed or, hey, I’m actually in opposition of what you said. I truly have an open door policy in that regard that I love to hear from everybody. So please feel free to reach out. But yeah, the website is the easiest way just because it has all the links to my social media accounts directly from there.

Candee Chambers:
So anyway, Sam, thank you so very much for your time today. This has been wonderful. Really appreciate it.

Samantha Smith:
Truly my pleasure. My pleasure. Thank you for having me.

Candee Chambers:
Thank you for tuning in for another episode of the DE Talk Podcast. Stay connected with DirectEmployers on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn and subscribe to our emails by visiting DirectEmployers.org/subscribe to receive notifications of new episodes each month.